Category Archives: Defending Junk

Defending Junk: Children of the Corn/Maximum Overdrive

Maximum Overdrive

Children of the Corn (Divimax Edition)

There was a time when a Stephen King movie wasn’t instantly thought of as junk. In fact, the first three adaptations of his first three novels, Carrie, ‘Salem’s Lot and The Shining, were mostly stellar. Since then, though, it’s been a real hit or miss affair. The highs have been incredibly high: Stand By Me, Shawshank Redemption and The ave Mile all achieved a measure of mainstream and critical success, but the lows…well, did they really make a move of Graveyard Shift? Continue reading

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Defending Junk II: Matthew McConaughey

Lately it’s become a popular pastime to knock Matthew McConaughey. At least one website exists for McConaughey jokes (although in fairness, there are only nine and some aren’t very funny) and Family Guy can’t go very long with slipping some dig in and why not? When your resume is littered with as much crap as his is, you’re ripe for the pickings. Continue reading

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Defending Junk – Bret Ratner Edition

I’m pretty notorious around my house for buying cheap DVD’s. No, not those crappy $1 discs with the terrible photo-copied cover art you see at Sprawl-Mart offering old Howdy Doody episodes or other public-domain goodies. No, I mean discs that once were going for $20 or more – at least that was the cover-price – but now, thanks to overproduction or underselling, have found their way into a deep discount hell. Continue reading

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The Love/Hate of Michael Bay

Every two years or so for the past-decade-and-a-half a movie appeared, like clockwork, right in the middle of summer. This movie promises to be the spectacle to end all spectacles and outdo every other film released that year. It comes populated by the young and the beautiful, the best and the brightest of the stars of tomorrow and promises more thrills, more laughs, more explosions and more sex appeal than anybody knows what to do with. In every way the movie is designed with but one purpose in mind: to separate the movie-going public from their hard-earned dollars, and if it seems that way it’s because that’s exactly what it’s designed to do. And more often than not it succeeds, no matter how juvenile or underwhelming the results may be.

You’re probably asking yourself just who the genius is behind these movies. Who’s the man that figured out how to get us to hand over our money time and again like a bunch of little lemmings? Who is the auteur of excess that entrances us year after year? Is it Spielberg? George Lucas? Robert Zemeckis? Maybe the great Cecil B. DeMille, risen from the grave? Of course not. Don’t be silly.

No, it’s Michael Bay.

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